There once was a beautiful geiko
Famous from Kyoto to Edo
But if clients tried holding hands
She would whack them with her fan
Because that was the way she said “No No”

There once was this cheeky young geisha
So cheeky she’d even surprise ya
She would look here and there
When she was pouring your beer
And “accidentally” spill it all over ya

There once was a geiko so old
100 years old, I was told
But when she arrived
The parties came alive
So, the customers thought she was gold

There once was a geiko from Hokkaido
There wasn’t anyone she didn’t know
You could be poor or be rich
She was never a bitch
And would always wave and say hello

There once was geiko thought to be crazy
But writing her off would be lazy
Because when she drank with the men
Being drunk, she would pretend
Good enough to be hired by Scorsese

There once was a geiko, so pretty
Not just good looks but also quite witty
She told lots of great jokes
Much funnier than the blokes
So, they voted her mayor of the city

There once was a geiko so tall
When she walked, we were all scared she’d fall
One night after beers
She fell down the stairs
And of her dancing career, that was all.

There once was a maiko so shy
When she saw men, she would cry
The house mother got madder
And she got even sadder
So, she left without saying goodbye

There once was a geiko who smoked
She smoked so much she would choke
When others told her to quit
She’d have quite a fit
And one day, she suddenly croaked

The once was a geisha not so pretty
Her face was tad bit zitty
And without her white face
She’d scare the whole place
So, she moved to a faraway city

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Geisha expert Peter MacIntosh runs tours and organises special occasions. See his website Kyoto Sights and Nights and Facebook page. To watch his documentary Real Geisha Real Women, click here. For a short story see here, and for a short short see here. His PR page can be accessed here.